The Blur Between Freedom and Childhood

It's been 20 years and I still find myself under the tight reign of my parents. Perhaps it because I live within their four walls when school is not in session. Perhaps it is because they have no idea when it is okay to trust in the values they have bestowed upon their children....

I find myself trapped in someplace dark. What is the job of a parent once their children have grown to my age? Are they not supposed to support you in your lifelong dreams? Are they not supposed to encourage you even if it means traveling? This is what one would think....

I have an audition in Chicago for a television show. I can afford the trip, I would not be alone, someone would be going with me. Yet here is what my father proceeds to tell me: You do not have the talent to do this. You were never even in the elite choir. What in the world do you want in your life? Are you willing to throw it all away if you land a spot on this show?

Here is the thing... father. When I entered into college all I wanted was to major in musical theatre, but you did not support me. You said music was unrealistic and you would not help pay for school if I chose that route. I was never in the elite choir because the dressess were far to expensive and I knew that we could not afford it. I hated the director and he hated me. I was asked to audition for that choir both my junior and senior year, but I turned it down.

When does this blur between reliance on my parents and freedom in my own independence come into play? Is 20 years to young to believe in this? How is one supposed to continue on in life and fight for dreams if there is no suppot in the home? Eight months out of the year I am gone away from home, living on a university campus... and I return not to bliss and relaxation, but to hostility, stress, the shattering of hopes for something "real" - the realism being conforming to the ideal parental vision of their child.

World do me a favor... encourage those around you. Don't shatter their dreams. For to shatter a dream is to shatter the confidence and soul of an individual.