The Lasting Impressions of a Movie

My life should be a sad romance novel. For all those who know my past relationship experience... it has been a little less than joyous. But what happens when the feelings you keep remain locked away? Not a soul would know the truth. The reason why we existed in that moment. My roommate recently convinced me to watch the movie Dear John. The cliche chick flick is what was expected, yet instead it stirred that lost emotion within myself. I only want to write one letter. The letter he'll never read. The letter published by an anonymous girl online. Never to be found by him.

Dear John Doe (Because his name shall remain anonymous as well),
There is something that I have been keeping from you for a very long time. It is something that I dared not text, nor facebook, nor call via phone. Instead I chose a letter, it is my personal way of reaching out to you without an immediate response, without having to hear the disgust and disownment reflected through your vocal chords. You know everything we have been through. Through the long nights talking in my room or out by the stars. Through the "miss you" texts and the best birthday present a Broadway fanatic could have asked for. But through all this there is something I never told you, mainly because I did not recognize it until long after.

I was falling in love with you.

By now I'm sure your hands are quivering, and knowing you... you have your phone in hand ready to call me or our favorite blond friend. Yes she knows. I told her a while back. Think of me no differently. You are still the best guy friend a girl like me could have asked for. I do not expect anything to change from this. Except that there is a possibility you will disown me and never speak to me again. But believe me when I say I do not expect a fairytale ending when the guy shows up on the doorstep and says the same. My life is not a fairytale. It's not a story to be told. I saw a movie where two people wrote honestly to one another, and I felt that I had been lying to you for the past months.. the past year. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I ever said to you, but now you know the reason behind my anger, my frustration, everything.
I want us to stay friends. But if we are going to stay friends, you needed to know the truth. I hope that you've made it this far in the letter. Because I can honestly say that I have moved on from you. Yes the way things are going I'll be a single bachelor-ette living in the city, but I'm okay with that. Just know that as your friend I will always be here for you, and in the end I want you to be happy. So now you know. It's just to bad this is lost on an online forum no one reads. And it will never reach you. Let's move forward, no regrets, no pent up emotions, just honest friends. As long as it is written in the stars to stay this way.

See you soon,
Songmage ~